Danger.

kerrydaway: GPOY It Was Still Wednesday When I Started This...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 07:30:03 -0800

GPOY It Was Still Wednesday When I Started This Post - Contemplating Possible Tweetup Attendance And The Terror Therein Edition.

I’m a tweetup virgin. Seriously, the thought of attending one simultaneously fills me with excitement, fascination and sheer terror. It’s akin to how a straight female virgin feels about dick.

Jesusgod I just compared a tweetup to a penis. They’re not even going to let me in the door.

I’d crash this little tweetup just to meet this young lady. Can’t promise I won’t bring my dick, though.

weselec: milkglassmao: fuckyeahthemonkees: asideofstache: fuc...

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 07:34:17 -0800

weselec:

milkglassmao:

fuckyeahthemonkees:

asideofstache:

fuckyeahthemonkees:

The photo on the right is from an advertisement for Go Go Light and Miss Breck hair spray based on the photo on the left. Ugh, the Sixties.

I can only imagine the awesome direction that went into the hairspray photo shoot. “No, female Mike, you have to really look like you HATE your life.”

I am annoyed with how half-assed their attempt at reproducing the poses seems to be, given that they didn’t even have an angry cat on their lap.

The question is, when @weselec and I painstakingly recreate this photo, will we be wearing pants or skirts?

I’m putting all my faith in this playlist. On a Monday...

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 08:31:27 -0700

I’m putting all my faith in this playlist. On a Monday such as this, it must not fail.

the man who issued this challenge doesn’t follow me and...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:14:25 -0700

the man who issued this challenge doesn’t follow me and hence will have no idea this happened, but i like to think that wherever he is, the wind just nuzzled his ear a little bit and whispered, “suck it.” for me.

weselec: (via starehard) Why is this idiot trying to catch that...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 08:59:37 -0700

weselec:

(via starehard)
Why is this idiot trying to catch that candy with his hand, when he has that cool bucket RIGHT THERE?

“Are you saying I can stop candy?”

“I’m saying that when time comes … you won’t have to.”

My notes from birthing class

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 12:27:25 -0700

Intervention (labor slows down), ask before they go ahead:
1) o2
2) changing positions
3) hydrating

Morphine
NO2
Fentanyl
Epidural
Pudendal block
Spinal anaesthesia - c-section
General

Special situations:

Continuous monitoring - if medication or Heart rate concerns

Internal monitor - 90 bpm or thereabouts.

Thick maconium (!), amniotomy - saline flush (?)

Pro-dromo labor, long early. When you finally go in they will offer morphine. Natural induction strategies include nipple stimulation, caster oil, walking, semen, orgasms, sweeping the membranes, amniotomy perhaps with a ripening agent, prostaglandin gel, foley bulb catheter, pitosin

Ripening agents: misoprostil/cervadil

“ripen the cervix”

Vacuum extraction. Awesome diagram. Can bruise, redden, slight hematoma. Forceps. Bad news.

Cesarian section: umbilical prolapse, placental abruption, fetal malpresentation, non-reassuring fetal heart rate tracking, placental previa

When you go in, drink juice! This helps to present as active.

"Of course, these players are different — you’re still sacrificing a lot for that $15..."

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 10:22:19 -0700

“Of course, these players are different — you’re still sacrificing a lot for that $15 subscription — and even though the Zune HD is a tremendous media player with a lot of great features, we still don’t think it competes 1:1 with a device like the touch. Still, it competes, and for Microsoft and the Zune brand, that’s a major leap forward”

- from Zune-lickers over at Engadget, who are wholly impressed by the new Zune’s ability not to match competitors, but to approximate something close to maybe approaching competing.

… Lest we underestimate their ability to snatch defeat...

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 10:06:00 -0700

… Lest we underestimate their ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Each launch of a downloadable application shows you a TV-style advertisement. Lawl.

osakasteve: rickwebb: adam: Everyone remember this? I think we...

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:05:40 -0700

osakasteve:

rickwebb: adam:

Everyone remember this? I think we should bring it back for the health care debate.

I concur.

Third.

(via weselec) Damn Player. Heal Thyself.

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 08:38:57 -0700

(via weselec)

Damn Player. Heal Thyself.

Photo

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 08:03:23 -0700

Photo

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 15:33:06 -0700

trust your tender moments to youtube.

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:24:19 -0700

trust your tender moments to youtube.

girlmonkey: halfbakedidea: It IS a recession. via. This...

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 15:03:49 -0700

girlmonkey:

halfbakedidea:

It IS a recession.

via.

This is just another excuse you men use for group masturbation.

… Are we supposed to be using excuses?

jesus, white teenagers have it rough.

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 06:17:43 -0700

jesus, white teenagers have it rough.:

(via srslainey)

not only is it off one of the best high-concept albums to come...

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 08:22:30 -0700

not only is it off one of the best high-concept albums to come down the pipe in this half of the decade, but this song in particular shines as a carefully mapped abstraction of a great song into an unbelievably clever one.

weselec: thisistheglamorous: zoee: “To me, life without...

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:06:12 -0700

weselec:

thisistheglamorous:

zoee:

“To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.” - Anthony Bourdain

Celebrities get away with saying the dumbest shit.

and how can this be considered anything but a monumental failure of imagination? i should be able to donkey punch this uncharasmatic fuck, air-drop him onto an island with a hot plate, one red onion and a dull hatchet and expect something amazing. maybe then he’d deserve half the fame we lavish on him for little more than admonishing the unhealthy lifestyle of the average middle-american out one side of his mouth while stuffing the other half full of pork fat and awful smelling cheese. so cheers, fuckface. every day of indulgence, full of the decadence you simply can’t imagine living without, is one you’ll be able to savor when your arteries choke off. let’s hope your coronary finds you stuffed and happy. worthless.

Opening of an email I just sent

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 06:59:20 -0700

This is how I manage expections:

“I don’t know what’s up with all this Patrick-worship as of late, but I think it’s a tad over-the-top. I’m not saying that everything I do isn’t art, or that somehow my mere touch hasn’t miraculously healed the sick or even that I’m not capable of expertly weaving straw into fine, rich stands of pure gold.

Because obviously it is, it has and I can.”

because we all need a little something to bring the nose up...

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 22:04:15 -0700

because we all need a little something to bring the nose up before we head into the storm front of Monday.

(via macalope)

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:58:00 -0700

original

Hey, kids, if you’re strolling through the mall some time and you’re getting close to where the Apple Store is and you see a store that looks a lot like an Apple Store but reeks of brimstone and flop sweat, don’t be fooled!

It’s probably a Microsoft store. Don’t worry, that confusion is apparently only temporary.

The executive was emphatic that the stores wouldn’t imitate Apple retail, at least in the long term, but that they would “innovate.”

Yeah-huh. As soon as we’re done doing exactly what Apple does, we’re going to innovate like hell! Watch this space, because the innovation train? She’s a-comin’! Spoken like a true innovator.

You know, the one thing the Macalope has noticed about people who are really innovative, they don’t say they’ll be innovative next year.